I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
