I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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