Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
