Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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