I hate all girls vehemently.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
