i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
