I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
