So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
