well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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