I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize