I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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