So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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