put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
