why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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