How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
