That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
