I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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