Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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