She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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