I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
