alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
