would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
