I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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