No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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