you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
