i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
