I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
