I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
