think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
