I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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