They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
