She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
