YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
