Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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