i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Your penis caused this!
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