In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
