Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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