Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
