she kept yelling 'call me bella'
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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