ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
