My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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