dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish there were birth control emojis
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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