I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize