i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize