i can't believe i had my finger in that
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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