I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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