I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
