My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sext me about skeletons
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
