i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
