Buhtt sex?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
