is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
