He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize