A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize