shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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