I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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