she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
is it fun? or sober?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
