whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bring me that man meat
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
