I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
