I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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